Here’s a bedtime story dedicated to a gent I interacted with on Facebook recently.
It concerns theory-driven mis-readings of John 17:1-5.
The vice-president had said something to the effect of, “We’ll show them who’s boss,” implying that the USA would shortly bomb Syria. Asked about this by a Fox News reporter, the president re-iterated that he, the president, hadn’t decided yet, adding, “You do know who I am, right?”
“Yes, Mr. President,” stuttered the Fox White House correspondent, “you’re the only true president.”
“And don’t you forget it,” said President Obama, firmly.
As he called on another reporter’s question, the CNN correspondent stifled a giggle and elbowed her neighbour.
“What?” asked elbow-recipient.
“Did you hear how stupid that guy is?”
“What do you mean?”
“He said that Obama’s the only true president. But he didn’t say that only Obama is the only true president. That Fox News moron must think that maybe someone else is the only true president too!”
“Umm… he did say only – isn’t one enough?”
There was an awkward pause.
“Yes… if he’d said only Obama is the true president, that would make sense. But he said that Obama is the only true president.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?”
“I say no, because he’s a moron. And did you hear that just before, he said something about Biden’s being in the Oval Office? Who’s office is that? The President’s! So, that rube thinks that Biden is also the only true president.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. Obama and Biden are two different men; that guy has seen both, as we all have, and surely he doesn’t think that they’re one and the same President. Biden’s not a president at all, but only a vice-, so he can’t be the same president as anyone.”
“No, that’s not what I mean. I mean, that Fox idiot thinks that both Biden and Obama enjoy the status of only-true-president.”
“I’m not sure why you think that…”
“He’s a fool! If he knew that Obama was president and no one else was, he would’ve said that only Obama is only-true-president.”
“I think you may have misunderstood…”
“Shhhhh,” spat the Secret Service man.
For those with longer attention spans, you can work through the point of this, which is in part 2 of this lecture. (You’ll want to start at part 1, though, if you’ve never had a college course in logic.)