{"id":2903,"date":"2011-07-09T08:54:24","date_gmt":"2011-07-09T12:54:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/trinities.org\/blog\/?p=2903"},"modified":"2020-08-05T15:29:55","modified_gmt":"2020-08-05T20:29:55","slug":"counting-wives-a-tale-of-three-polygamists-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/trinities.org\/blog\/counting-wives-a-tale-of-three-polygamists-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Counting Wives – a tale of three polygamists – Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

 Here’s a bit of fresh fiction, possibly part of a future paper or book some day. Of course, there is purpose behind the madness. (See 2.2.2 here<\/a>.) It is dedicated to philosopher Bill Hasker. Enjoy.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was a quiet day at the Salt Lake City Central Police Station<\/strong>. Bill looked at the clock and fiddled with his pen. Two hours till quitting time, and he\u2019d only booked two new arrests. Little did he know, it would still turn out to be an interesting day.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBill, wake up.\u201d It was officer Smith, escorting a bearded man in handcuffs. \u201cBook this fellow, would you?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was a polygamy case. Bill had seen these from time to time. Although the state of Utah had always outlawed polygamy, and the Mormon church had stopped the practice in 1890, ever since, there had been holdouts, people the media called \u201cMormon Fundamentalists\u201d who insisted on practicing the old Brigham Young lifestyle, usually out in the boondocks.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut I\u2019m innocent,\u201d<\/strong> insisted the accused, whose name was Mr. Dienay.
<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what they all say,\u201d mumbled Bill, filling out a form.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSeriously, I have but one<\/em> wife. But they say<\/em> I have two.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell, Mr. Dienay, you\u2019ll have you chance to prove that in court. Now, who lives with you?\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere are my children Alma, Nephi, Ether, and Moroni.\u201d Bill recorded their names, dates of the birth, sexes. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd there\u2019s my wife Polly. And there\u2019s my wife Molly.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI thought you said you only had one wife.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, they\u2019re the same wife<\/strong>!\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bill adopted an uncomprehending stare. \u201cThe same wife,\u201d he flatly echoed.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAbsolutely.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMr. Dienay,\u201d continued Bill, \u201cplease describe them.\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell, Molly is a brunette, about as tall as me, and fair-skinned. Polly is a redhead, very short, and has freckles.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd they\u2019re the same<\/em> wife.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf they were the same wife, wouldn\u2019t they be exactly… the same?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh no, sir. But they\u2019re one wife, all right. I\u2019m a monogamist.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat means that you have only one wife, I mean, at a time.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know what \u201cmonogamist\u201d means! A monogamist is<\/strong> a man who is married to some woman, and any wife he has is the same wife as her.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo, a monogamist can have more than one wife?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019re not listening. Polly and Molly are one wife.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cUm… what do you mean, what you say that they are one wife.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThey\u2019re to be counted as one.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes, I get that… but why?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBecause, they have exactly the same DNA. Polly and Molly are identical twins<\/strong>. And when the DNA is the same, the wife is the same. They differ, yes, and are two women, but when you understand how to count them, you\u2019ll get the right count, my friend: one. One<\/em> wife.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood luck with that defense,\u201d laughed Bill. With that, he sent Mr. Deinay to his cell. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As Bill pondered this interesting way of counting wives, officer Smith returned with another arrestee to book. His too was charged with being married simultaneously to two women, and like Mr. Deinay, he denied the charge. His name was Mr. Joyner<\/strong>. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMr. Joyner, I need your wives\u2019 names, please.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI only have just one wife, sir.\u201d <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bill paused and squinted. \u201cMr. Joyner, if your one wife puts on a hat, how many hats does she put on?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTwo.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMr. Joyner, how many full names does your one wife have?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTwo \u2013 Mrs. Jill Joyner and Mrs. Jane Joyner.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bill was on to him. \u201cMr. Joyner, are your wives… I mean, are Jill and Jane identical twins?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, sir. But they are twins.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen your one wife puts on a pair of pants, how many pairs does she put on?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOne \u2013 but it\u2019s a special one, with three legs! My wife Jill and Jane are conjoined twins<\/strong>. They share a leg.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s interesting. I\u2019ve heard of conjoined ladies marrying, but usually it is two two different gentlemen. Anyway, Mr. Joyner, you have two wives. I assume you\u2019re going to plead guilty.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo – I\u2019m innocent! How can a monogamist like me confess to bigamy?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMr. Joyner, what do you think a monogamist is?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cA monogamist, sir, is<\/strong> a man who is married to a woman, and any woman that is his wife has a body not wholly distinct from that woman\u2019s body.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo you think that Jill and Jane are one wife.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes, can you not count?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThey\u2019re different<\/em>, so they\u2019re two!\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell, two ladies<\/em>, sure. But you count wives<\/em> by discrete bodies. If some ladies share a body, or a part of a body, they are exactly one wife. Different<\/em> wives have non-overlapping bodies.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bill had heard enough. \u201cThat\u2019s ridiculous. Don\u2019t you know what a wife is?<\/strong>\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s that supposed to mean?\u201d shot back Mr. Joyner.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cA wife just is a certain woman, a person, a being with feelings, knowledge, free will.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYour point being…?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve got two of those<\/em>. It\u2019s just that they can\u2019t be separated, and they share a body part or two.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019re begging the question,\u201d protested Mr. Joyner. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Both Mr. Joyner and Mr. Deinay lost their cases<\/strong>, and both spent time in Utah low-security penitentiaries.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

To be continued…<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

 Here’s a bit of fresh fiction, possibly part of a future paper or book some day. Of course, there is purpose behind the madness. (See 2.2.2 here.) It is dedicated to philosopher Bill Hasker. Enjoy. It was a quiet day at the Salt Lake City Central Police Station. Bill looked at the clock and fiddled… Read More »Counting Wives – a tale of three polygamists – Part 1<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2906,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"off","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[38,9,36,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2903","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-monotheism","category-philosophy","category-stories","category-theories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/trinities.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2903","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/trinities.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/trinities.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trinities.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trinities.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2903"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/trinities.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2903\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42613,"href":"https:\/\/trinities.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2903\/revisions\/42613"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trinities.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2906"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/trinities.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2903"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trinities.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2903"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trinities.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2903"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}